Fun Coconut

The doctor tells the patient:
- I see no reason for your pain my dear. Can only be the drink.
The patient responds:
- No problem, doctor. I'll be back another day when you're sober!

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A woman very charming and attractive that is in a bar, charmingly gestures to the bartender immediately approaches. When he arrives, she, very seductive signals to him his face close to hers. She begins to gently caress his hair and beard, running her fingers affectionately. She asks:
- Are you the owner? - Slowly moving both hands on his face.
- No. .. - He replies.
- You could call it? I need to talk to him! - She said stroking the hair of the bartender.
- I think I can not help it. He is not today. - Says the bartender, already excited about the situation - I can do something for you?
- Sure you can. I need you to give him a message. - She says, rubbing his beard, and sticking two fingers in the mouth of the bartender, letting you suck them gently.
- Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies!

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A workshop of a leading beverage company, met the gaucho, mining, Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo. Every night after the lectures they dined together and after dinner, they were telling jokes. Since the gaucho was the most shy of all and never had the courage to tell a joke, the other three began to tell jokes just gaucho.
And so it went for almost a week. The Sao Paulo, Minas Gerais and Rio de Janeiro to the fun at the expense of the gaucho, and without giving him a word, suffering in silence. On the last day, he decided to open:
- It is that last week I took my wife in bed with another man!
- Really? And what did you do? - Asked one of them.
- I put her and my son in the car and I drove all night to Rio de Janeiro. Once there, told her: "Get down! Because here is that instead of p * ta!" Then continued the trip and went to Sao Paulo. Once there, I said to my son: "Get down! Because here is the land of child p * ta!" "And you, Dad?" You will go where? "Asked my son. And I said, "I'm going to Minas, which is a place of horn"!

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In college, in the middle of a conversation between friends about anatomy, a cute blonde decided to make fun a:
- Carol, you know what is the difference between the nipple and breast?
The blonde thinks, thinks and after a few minutes answers:
- "Nipple" is that I suck ... And "Mama" is an order that give me!

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A couple was arguing about finances. Husband blew up and said:
- If it were not for my money, this house would not be here.
The woman replied:
- Honey, if it were not for your money, I would not be here.
(sent by Lea)

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A queue was passing in front of a Catholic church and, as had never been to a church decides to go, sitting in last place. Was intrigued to see the priest swinging the censer, as he walked from the pulpit to the back of the church, coming in his direction. When the priest came very close to the queue, behold, she says:
- Honey, her show was great, but your purse is on fire!

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A man was complaining to a friend:
- I had everything: money, a beautiful house, a sports car, the love of a beautiful woman, and then ... it was over.
- What happened? - Asked his friend.
- My wife found out ....
(sent by Lea)

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The child:
- Dad, it is true that in some parts of Africa a man does not know his wife to marry her?
Father:
- Here is like that, son.
(sent by Lea)

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A German, one French, one English and one Australian comment on a picture of Adam and Eve in Paradise. The German said:
-Look at that perfect body: slim and willowy it, he with this athletic body, the muscles profiled ... Must be German.
The French immediately replied:
- Do not believe it. Clearly the eroticism that comes out of both figures ... it so feminine ... male as he ... They know they will soon come to temptation ... They must be French.
Moving his head negatively, English says:
- What! Notice ... the serenity of their faces, the delicacy of the pose, the sobriety of the gesture. They may be English.
After a few more seconds of contemplation, the Brazilian exclaims:
- I do not agree. Look: I do not have clothes, have no shoes, no home, just have a sad apple to eat, do not protest, they probably dirty and still think they are in Paradise. Only be BRAZILIAN!

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The little weasel is attending psychologist saying he wants to change his life.
- What led you to choose this kind of life? - Asks the psychologist.
- It was not me who chose! I was forced to do so! When I was twelve or thirteen, was playing in the garden of the house there, when my cousin came up from behind, grabbed me and abused me right there! It was a horror!
- But you could not have escaped? It tried to run?
- Try I tried, but high heels and tight skirt, where is speed?!

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On a cold morning, two old men on the streets.
- Alfredo, okay? Let's have a coffee and talk a little?
- We can talk, but I'm avoiding coffee. He takes all my sexual potency!
- How? Since when coffee strip sexual potency??
- Because I always burn the tongue and fingers ...