The doctor tells the patient:
- I see no reason for your pain my dear. Can only be the drink.
The patient responds:
- No problem, doctor. I'll be back another day when you're sober!
/ / /
A woman very charming and attractive that is in a bar, charmingly gestures to the bartender immediately approaches. When he arrives, she, very seductive signals to him his face close to hers. She begins to gently caress his hair and beard, running her fingers affectionately. She asks:
- Are you the owner? - Slowly moving both hands on his face.
- No. .. - He replies.
- You could call it? I need to talk to him! - She said stroking the hair of the bartender.
- I think I can not help it. He is not today. - Says the bartender, already excited about the situation - I can do something for you?
- Sure you can. I need you to give him a message. - She says, rubbing his beard, and sticking two fingers in the mouth of the bartender, letting you suck them gently.
- Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies!
/ / /
A workshop of a leading beverage company, met the gaucho, mining, Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo. Every night after the lectures they dined together and after dinner, they were telling jokes. Since the gaucho was the most shy of all and never had the courage to tell a joke, the other three began to tell jokes just gaucho.
And so it went for almost a week. The Sao Paulo, Minas Gerais and Rio de Janeiro to the fun at the expense of the gaucho, and without giving him a word, suffering in silence. On the last day, he decided to open:
- It is that last week I took my wife in bed with another man!
- Really? And what did you do? - Asked one of them.
- I put her and my son in the car and I drove all night to Rio de Janeiro. Once there, told her: "Get down! Because here is that instead of p * ta!" Then continued the trip and went to Sao Paulo. Once there, I said to my son: "Get down! Because here is the land of child p * ta!" "And you, Dad?" You will go where? "Asked my son. And I said, "I'm going to Minas, which is a place of horn"!
/ / /
In college, in the middle of a conversation between friends about anatomy, a cute blonde decided to make fun a:
- Carol, you know what is the difference between the nipple and breast?
The blonde thinks, thinks and after a few minutes answers:
- "Nipple" is that I suck ... And "Mama" is an order that give me!
/ / /
A couple was arguing about finances. Husband blew up and said:
- If it were not for my money, this house would not be here.
The woman replied:
- Honey, if it were not for your money, I would not be here.
(sent by Lea)
/ / /
A queue was passing in front of a Catholic church and, as had never been to a church decides to go, sitting in last place. Was intrigued to see the priest swinging the censer, as he walked from the pulpit to the back of the church, coming in his direction. When the priest came very close to the queue, behold, she says:
- Honey, her show was great, but your purse is on fire!
/ / /
A man was complaining to a friend:
- I had everything: money, a beautiful house, a sports car, the love of a beautiful woman, and then ... it was over.
- What happened? - Asked his friend.
- My wife found out ....
(sent by Lea)
/ / /
The child:
- Dad, it is true that in some parts of Africa a man does not know his wife to marry her?
Father:
- Here is like that, son.
(sent by Lea)
/ / /
A German, one French, one English and one Australian comment on a picture of Adam and Eve in Paradise. The German said:
-Look at that perfect body: slim and willowy it, he with this athletic body, the muscles profiled ... Must be German.
The French immediately replied:
- Do not believe it. Clearly the eroticism that comes out of both figures ... it so feminine ... male as he ... They know they will soon come to temptation ... They must be French.
Moving his head negatively, English says:
- What! Notice ... the serenity of their faces, the delicacy of the pose, the sobriety of the gesture. They may be English.
After a few more seconds of contemplation, the Brazilian exclaims:
- I do not agree. Look: I do not have clothes, have no shoes, no home, just have a sad apple to eat, do not protest, they probably dirty and still think they are in Paradise. Only be BRAZILIAN!
/ / /
The little weasel is attending psychologist saying he wants to change his life.
- What led you to choose this kind of life? - Asks the psychologist.
- It was not me who chose! I was forced to do so! When I was twelve or thirteen, was playing in the garden of the house there, when my cousin came up from behind, grabbed me and abused me right there! It was a horror!
- But you could not have escaped? It tried to run?
- Try I tried, but high heels and tight skirt, where is speed?!
/ / /
On a cold morning, two old men on the streets.
- Alfredo, okay? Let's have a coffee and talk a little?
- We can talk, but I'm avoiding coffee. He takes all my sexual potency!
- How? Since when coffee strip sexual potency??
- Because I always burn the tongue and fingers ...
Mostrando postagens com marcador good. Mostrar todas as postagens
Mostrando postagens com marcador good. Mostrar todas as postagens
The project is a Chinese carpenter and began as a joke. He decided to take a laptop to see the wood as I could. The result was so good, that the carpenter began to use it in daily. Oh, he still has a wood mouse to pair with your new toy. But frankly, if he put the gadget on sale on eBay or other auction site for it a money bill good.
1. Rubble of the World Trade Center - As morbid as it may seem, the place became the point of visiting tourists. Even those who are not excited to September 11 have a tightness in the throat to pass through the site.
2. Empire State Building - After the destruction of the World Trade Center, the building again became the highest point in New York. The view from two observatories (one in the floor and another 86 in 102)-with areas partially outdoors-is a must.
3. New York Public Library - It has nothing to do with terrorist attacks, but the stairs and statues of lions at the entrance are great. You pass by the front of the library and just remember a lot of films that used the site as a lease. The visit to the library also allows the tourist to feel a real New Yorker. Just buy a snack and sit on the steps or in a bank to make the park a "snack". For the serious side, the ride is worth the neoclassical architecture and the ability to search the huge collection of books.
4. St. Patrick's Cathedral - The New Yorkers were more attached to religious faith after the terrorist attacks. In addition to cheap-it costs nothing into the church, the traveler will have the chance to know the largest Catholic cathedral in the United States. It is impossible not to thrill to attend a Mass of St. Patrick. The Gregorian choir is creepy. As the cathedral is very large, the visitor may be required to attend a Mass for one of the TV equipment installed by the cathedral. Even so, it is worth!
5. Grand Central Terminal - Pass by the Grand Central Station shows that the Americans are capable. Built between 1903 and 1913, the station has a roof designed with symbols of the zodiac. The marble staircases reminiscent of the golden period of travel by train.
6. Brooklyn Bridge - the bridge is possible to have a vision of where the towers stood before the World Trade Center. Some tourists take pictures risk with the lack of towers in the background. The walk is worth the wonderful view and the hand history: the Brooklyn Bridge, built in 1883, was the largest suspension bridge in the world and the first steel.
7. Statue of Liberty - As cliche as it may be, who is visiting New York needs the Statue of Liberty to feel he was in town. In addition to know the symbol of New York, visitors will have a privileged view of where the towers should be the World Trade Center. In rafts, many tourists use to click on the empty buildings.
8. Rockefeller Center - the complex of 20 buildings is regarded as the heart of Manhattan. In winter you can skate in ice skating-rink.
9. Chinatown - Chinese Traditional neighborhood near Little Italy and Soho is the ideal place to buy souvenirs of New York. The little shops, which resemble the trade in much of the street on March 25 (the central region of São Paulo), selling miniatures of the twin towers, postcards of the World Trade Center, shirts "I love NY" and a multitude of ironmongery. The local traders also sell a variety of counterfeit products at prices inviting. In any case, the tourists have to haggle to get a good discount.
10. Broadway - On a money, the tourist has to attend one of the pieces performed the entire year on Broadway. The most traditional are Les Miserables, The Beauty and the Beast, The Phantom of the Opera, 42nd Street and King Leon In the weeks after the terrorist attacks, asked the public actors in cash donations for victims of the World Trade Center. At the time of purchasing the ticket, the best options are the counters of the central theaters or for sale of tickets to Broadway, in Tkts, located in Times Square.
11. Times Square - The most famous corner in New York is crowded with references to the terrorist attacks, such as flags and souvenirs of the World Trade Center. It is a great destination for those seeking a single place Megastore, theaters, cinemas and bright mirabolantes.
12. Macy'sx Conway - After so many references to the terrorist attacks, the tourist has the right to make good buying in New York. Even for those who will not buy anything, a visit to Macy's is a must. Called "the largest store in the world", sells a little of everything, in various price ranges. A good tip is to purchase Conway, located a block from Macy's. Frequented mainly by consumers of Latin origin, the shop offers a mix of products with prices lower than the camels. Curiosity: many sellers in the shop do not speak English, only Spanish.
SHOPPING
The stores sell these miniatures of the twin towers of the World Trade Center and objects that recall the tragedy as shirts with the phrase "We remember World Trade Center".
The traditional shirt with the phrase "I love NY" has changed after the attacks. Now the souvenirs won the "I love NY more than ever."
For $ 7, you can buy a roll of toilet paper with the face of Osama bin Laden in the shops of Chinatown.
2. Empire State Building - After the destruction of the World Trade Center, the building again became the highest point in New York. The view from two observatories (one in the floor and another 86 in 102)-with areas partially outdoors-is a must.
3. New York Public Library - It has nothing to do with terrorist attacks, but the stairs and statues of lions at the entrance are great. You pass by the front of the library and just remember a lot of films that used the site as a lease. The visit to the library also allows the tourist to feel a real New Yorker. Just buy a snack and sit on the steps or in a bank to make the park a "snack". For the serious side, the ride is worth the neoclassical architecture and the ability to search the huge collection of books.
4. St. Patrick's Cathedral - The New Yorkers were more attached to religious faith after the terrorist attacks. In addition to cheap-it costs nothing into the church, the traveler will have the chance to know the largest Catholic cathedral in the United States. It is impossible not to thrill to attend a Mass of St. Patrick. The Gregorian choir is creepy. As the cathedral is very large, the visitor may be required to attend a Mass for one of the TV equipment installed by the cathedral. Even so, it is worth!
5. Grand Central Terminal - Pass by the Grand Central Station shows that the Americans are capable. Built between 1903 and 1913, the station has a roof designed with symbols of the zodiac. The marble staircases reminiscent of the golden period of travel by train.
6. Brooklyn Bridge - the bridge is possible to have a vision of where the towers stood before the World Trade Center. Some tourists take pictures risk with the lack of towers in the background. The walk is worth the wonderful view and the hand history: the Brooklyn Bridge, built in 1883, was the largest suspension bridge in the world and the first steel.
7. Statue of Liberty - As cliche as it may be, who is visiting New York needs the Statue of Liberty to feel he was in town. In addition to know the symbol of New York, visitors will have a privileged view of where the towers should be the World Trade Center. In rafts, many tourists use to click on the empty buildings.
8. Rockefeller Center - the complex of 20 buildings is regarded as the heart of Manhattan. In winter you can skate in ice skating-rink.
9. Chinatown - Chinese Traditional neighborhood near Little Italy and Soho is the ideal place to buy souvenirs of New York. The little shops, which resemble the trade in much of the street on March 25 (the central region of São Paulo), selling miniatures of the twin towers, postcards of the World Trade Center, shirts "I love NY" and a multitude of ironmongery. The local traders also sell a variety of counterfeit products at prices inviting. In any case, the tourists have to haggle to get a good discount.
10. Broadway - On a money, the tourist has to attend one of the pieces performed the entire year on Broadway. The most traditional are Les Miserables, The Beauty and the Beast, The Phantom of the Opera, 42nd Street and King Leon In the weeks after the terrorist attacks, asked the public actors in cash donations for victims of the World Trade Center. At the time of purchasing the ticket, the best options are the counters of the central theaters or for sale of tickets to Broadway, in Tkts, located in Times Square.
11. Times Square - The most famous corner in New York is crowded with references to the terrorist attacks, such as flags and souvenirs of the World Trade Center. It is a great destination for those seeking a single place Megastore, theaters, cinemas and bright mirabolantes.
12. Macy'sx Conway - After so many references to the terrorist attacks, the tourist has the right to make good buying in New York. Even for those who will not buy anything, a visit to Macy's is a must. Called "the largest store in the world", sells a little of everything, in various price ranges. A good tip is to purchase Conway, located a block from Macy's. Frequented mainly by consumers of Latin origin, the shop offers a mix of products with prices lower than the camels. Curiosity: many sellers in the shop do not speak English, only Spanish.
SHOPPING
The stores sell these miniatures of the twin towers of the World Trade Center and objects that recall the tragedy as shirts with the phrase "We remember World Trade Center".
The traditional shirt with the phrase "I love NY" has changed after the attacks. Now the souvenirs won the "I love NY more than ever."
For $ 7, you can buy a roll of toilet paper with the face of Osama bin Laden in the shops of Chinatown.
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